*Disclaimer: This blog post has been written intentionally with a light-hearted tone of voice. Diesel is celebrating a silly/tongue in cheek mantra – that not every date goes great, so they've designed a sleek and comfortable new collection of denim (Jogg Jeans) which are made to run away from bad dates.
Let's not kid ourselves, we've all been there. We have sat with the worse dates in the world, or perhaps they've thought I'm the worse date in the world, who knows, but right now this a selfish post so it's all about me.
I've had people eat off my plate, say the most unthoughtful rude things during a conversation, guys who take a phone call and have a full blown conversation over our dinner date, and I've also had the long story about their ex's and I suddenly become a counsellor. I excuse myself to the bathroom, not to ditch, unfortunately, but to cringe at the fact I've just wasted two hours on someone who just isn't for me. Soon the following thoughts start to quickly go through my mind whilst applying my lipstick like the following; "are you going to have to split the bill? Or are they paying? What's up with him talking about himself? This isn't a segment of this is your life, maybe I should invoice him for my time and advice? He better be paying since he just ate the food off my plate!" Then regretfully, I go back to my seat. Perhaps I'm just too polite to leave, and sadly, we have to kiss a lot of frogs to find our prince, and Meghan Markle eventually found hers, so there's a chance for all us! Right....?
So, from now on I've decided to ditch bad dates with #NoFear whilst wearing my Jogg Jeans, so boys beware if you see my strutting in the door with these on, you know there might be a chance I'll be dashing out that door. So, what are my tips you ask? Well... without further adieu feast your eyes with my wisdom.
1) The old, "oh, sorry, I've got to go to the toilet" excuse. Don't forget your bag, because it'd be really awkward if you had to return to fetch it.
2) "I've got to move my car, I didn't pay for enough parking!" This one is a good one because you can literally go to your car and drive off. Byeeee Felicia!
3) Text a friend, tell them to call you, then answer the phone in shock and say you need to go, your friends having an emergency, she just broke up with her boyfriend and you've just gotta go! Or whatever, another excuse you can think of.
4) My mum's just called, she's locked herself out of the house and I'm the only one who has the key, it's a unique key! Say this whilst getting out of your seat, creating mid-action movements startles the other person, they won't have time to have a come back because by the end of your sentence you've already walked out the door shouting "IT'S A UNIQUE KEY... I ONNNLLLLY HAV...IT" and cue fade out Homer Simpson style. Or here's another with this dilemma, get your acting skills on, quick smart. Think a totally dramatic thought, gasp and say " oh my god, i've locked my poor cat outside" politely again, cue fade out.
And finally, you could pull a diesel move, just get up and RUN.
And, from my followers who gave their two cents about how they've ditched their bad dates!
"I actually climbed out of the window out of the restaurant toilet, the date was that bad"
"This one guy invited me to see a movie, we met on tinder and in his photos, he looked really cute! But, when we met at the cinema he didn't look a thing like his photos. We sat down, and I said I needed to go to the bathroom, I never went back!"
"This guy was once an hour late, I felt so stupid waiting for him in the restaurant, so when he arrived I said I had to move my car and I never went back!"
So the next time you're thinking of ditching a bad date, don't forget to wear your JoggJeans!